Happy 58th papa.

    While everybody moans and groans about their boyfriend and girlfriend, saying that they don't love you, you don't love them, STOP! PAUSE! Look back at your parents. Your first love since.... practically... BIRTH! We think so much about people who we barely know but we seem to forget those who have been there since the very start.

    That man up there, he is my dad. Mr. Subramuniam s/o Thirumeni. He was born in the year 1953 in Ipoh Town. I was browsing my facebook homepage a while ago, and I came across a picture on the table, of me, at the age of 5 I think. I quickly dashed to the behind room and grab the ol' black bag which weighed a tonne. Its contents were of old pictures.

    Me and toi flipped through, mom camwhoring , daddy botak. Reminiscing the old times. Before I was born, When I was young and when toi was born. It all led back to my dad. You must be wondering why we don't look alike. Long story short, Imma adopted baby, don't need to feel sorry for me, God definitely chose the ideal family. Im assuming things like this happens once in a blue moon.


   That man, my papa smurf, isn't getting any younger anymore. Forget years, he ages every second, so do we. 15 years I have lived on this planet, I have done mistakes. Mostly disrespecting my parents. From an innocent child growing up to be a rebel. I swear to God, I don't know how to handle me, if I were my dad. I'd slap myself. But he has been patient throughout the whole process.


  Last night, sharp at 12, me and toi sang 'Happy Birthday' while dad was asleep, although we didn't want to wake him up, we eventually did. Even with the littlest things we do, he never fails to smile. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and realised that I missed something. The man who stood in front of me the whole time, I missed him. I flashback to when he used to work in Singapore. Coming and going, that was his job. Sometimes I'd cry thinking when will he be home. Now that he's retired, he's at home, with his two kids. 


   I hate myself for having moods. I hate myself for yelling and screaming. I hate myself for slamming the door. Whenever I do anything to hurt my dad, I die a little more inside. Whenever I see my friends disrespect their dad and are proud of it, my heart is filled with disgust. No matter how angry we get, guilt always eats us up. If only I had the courage to say this to dad, he wouldn't believe the words I'd tell him. 
  
   Im just afraid, that when he's gone. Who is gonna take care of me ? Who is gonna educate me ? Who is gonna kill all those stupid lizards that appear from no where ? My dad is my hero, to you, he dosen't have any powers, to me, he can love his kids. That alone is enough. You don't have to fly to be my dad or shoot lazers to be my dad. In another 2 years I'll be done with school and studying in the States with mom. Living in a whole different atmosphere. What will I do without my parents ?


  They've given me more than I could ask for. The last thing I'd do is hurt my dad. I've never seen him shed a tear and never do I want to see him cry. What hurts most ? Is when a man of strength like my dad, cries.


  Im sorry papa for what I've done, I can't promise you that I wont repeat it but I can promise to be more careful. I do hope one fine day, I'll find a man like you, and on that day you shall let go of my hand and trust him to hold me.


Happy 58th Papa.




                                                   thilaCamillo