Outer Beauty taunts me.
What is beauty really all about ? Because I don't know. I wish I'd give a lecture on beauty but sadly, I know nothing from A-Z. One thing, it hurts. Especially if you were to walk in my shoes. I'm not what you call drop dead gorgeous. Im a philippina, therefore I was born with asian eyes, flat nose. I don't have perfect teeth or luscious hair. I'm not supermodel tall or own a pair of smooth,satin, unscarred, long legs.
People say, you're beautiful in your own way. Others say you are beautiful, but I don't know if they mean it. Pictures can tell more than a million words but not every take is beautiful. I've noticed that Im not beautiful all the time. Unless with a little make up, with a little less blemishes, a set of heels to make you inches taller. This time, this particular post, touches me to the core. Im not ashamed to cry because I feel myself as unpretty.
People do judge on looks. Like it or not. The face is always important. How shallow, still its reality. This year I have been snapped out of my fantasy. Its so clear how people state the obvious. Its like saying, 'THILA YOU FUGLY' and slapping my face right on the spot. You see these facebook pictures and you hope that I'm much better in person and thats when you get disappointed. Its my fault for trying, attempting to prove that Im beautiful.
Sometimes I get compliments once in a blue moon but believing it is the last thing I could do. Its not everyday everyone says I'm pretty or beautiful and hoping that someone does is like waiting for a reply from a doll.Its hard to convince me with beauty. Im just that awkward one in my group of friends, the one who puts on a good pout and a fantastic frown. I frown so much, my frown lines almost look permanent. Imma Cancer and most Cancerians are sensitive. So yeah, it hurts to be second best. Here I am saying it with no shame.
I recently visited my aunt who is fighting for her life against cancer. I sat there helplessly, wishing on every star, that I could save her. She lost all her hair, can't barely move, the first thing she said is 'Health is Wealth'. At that moment, she was beautiful, without her hair, without her make up, Her words cut me like a knife when she said "I am gonna make it". Frankly, I have no heart to go on typing, the bulge in my throat feeling like wanting to cry. I can't, but I have to.
Could someone tell me why ? Why does it have to be looks ? Why are people so shallow. Why ??? I swear to God, this a very emotional post. Call me dramatic, but my eyes are on fire. I've been judged, compared, mistreated and sometimes I wonder how did I face it all, how did I 'swallow durian skin'. Maybe Im PMS-ing but it hurts alot. Ever wondered why you DONT call a girl ugly ?
Because every morning, she's gonna look in the mirror and say 'I wish I was prettier'
People do make you feel special today and unwanted tomorrow. I wish I had something inspiring to say but whatever lah.. My mind is just screwed.Some people do take advantage. Some people are just so.. I dont even have the right words that best describes them.
Note beauty will age one day, and if you're gonna choose a girl for her looks be sure to love her by every wrinkle she starts to get.
thilaCamillo
People say, you're beautiful in your own way. Others say you are beautiful, but I don't know if they mean it. Pictures can tell more than a million words but not every take is beautiful. I've noticed that Im not beautiful all the time. Unless with a little make up, with a little less blemishes, a set of heels to make you inches taller. This time, this particular post, touches me to the core. Im not ashamed to cry because I feel myself as unpretty.
People do judge on looks. Like it or not. The face is always important. How shallow, still its reality. This year I have been snapped out of my fantasy. Its so clear how people state the obvious. Its like saying, 'THILA YOU FUGLY' and slapping my face right on the spot. You see these facebook pictures and you hope that I'm much better in person and thats when you get disappointed. Its my fault for trying, attempting to prove that Im beautiful.
Sometimes I get compliments once in a blue moon but believing it is the last thing I could do. Its not everyday everyone says I'm pretty or beautiful and hoping that someone does is like waiting for a reply from a doll.Its hard to convince me with beauty. Im just that awkward one in my group of friends, the one who puts on a good pout and a fantastic frown. I frown so much, my frown lines almost look permanent. Imma Cancer and most Cancerians are sensitive. So yeah, it hurts to be second best. Here I am saying it with no shame.
I recently visited my aunt who is fighting for her life against cancer. I sat there helplessly, wishing on every star, that I could save her. She lost all her hair, can't barely move, the first thing she said is 'Health is Wealth'. At that moment, she was beautiful, without her hair, without her make up, Her words cut me like a knife when she said "I am gonna make it". Frankly, I have no heart to go on typing, the bulge in my throat feeling like wanting to cry. I can't, but I have to.
Could someone tell me why ? Why does it have to be looks ? Why are people so shallow. Why ??? I swear to God, this a very emotional post. Call me dramatic, but my eyes are on fire. I've been judged, compared, mistreated and sometimes I wonder how did I face it all, how did I 'swallow durian skin'. Maybe Im PMS-ing but it hurts alot. Ever wondered why you DONT call a girl ugly ?
Because every morning, she's gonna look in the mirror and say 'I wish I was prettier'
People do make you feel special today and unwanted tomorrow. I wish I had something inspiring to say but whatever lah.. My mind is just screwed.Some people do take advantage. Some people are just so.. I dont even have the right words that best describes them.
Note beauty will age one day, and if you're gonna choose a girl for her looks be sure to love her by every wrinkle she starts to get.
thilaCamillo
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