Relationships

  I have been receiving numerous questions on ask.fm regarding relationships. I am still in a daze figuring how did I end up being a love guru. The anonymous questions kept flooding in. I am no expert in this subject you call, love. I'm no love doctor. However, I do try my very best to give the most honest, transparent and straightforward answer. If I had to slap some sense into someone, I'd slap the sense into someone! 

  Have you ever been told to study first and love later? Yeah, well I finally understood why my folks never encouraged me to fall in love or get into a relationship at a young age. When you are young, the thrill of being in love and the infatuation reaches its peak. It works the same way when you get your heart broken.

  I have been the heartbroken for the longest time. I always thought it was okay for people to hurt me providing that I don't hurt them in return. Bullshit lah. Don't ever give anyone the power to hurt you. Sometimes you trust your partner to take a bullet for you without even realizing that they're the ones pulling the trigger. It's like Russian Roulette. 

  First and foremost, I do not judge any kind of love. I do not judge gender, I do not judge race, I do not judge age differences, I do not judge appearance. Don't judge other peoples love, it may make no sense to you but that doesn't matter. Love is love. 

You need to know:

1. A relationship is a commitment.

    Unless, you're in it for a booty call or a temporary fling. A commitment is a devotion. If you don't picture this person 5 years down the road then stop. Save yourself and your partner the heartbreak.

2. Don't mistake infatuation for love.

    They both have the same effect. How do you tell the difference? An infatuation is an intense but short-lived adoration. You're unaware of your surroundings. Love is when you balance both reality and fantasy. You are aware of the happenings around you. 

3. Accept them for who they are.

    We as human beings are always changing. We want to try out new things. Accepting someone is not just accepting who they are but accepting their changes. We are constantly making mistakes but we are always improving ourselves to be the best version of us possible.

4. No name calling.

    Nobody should settle for less. If your partner starts calling you names, leave. It's abusive. It shows he/she has no respect for you. He/She does not value you. This person needs to get his/her mouth bleached with Clorox. 

5. Listen.

    This applies to both male and female. We all need a shoulder to cry on and the least you could do is lend an ear. Not every action needs reaction. It is very comforting to have someone who listen to your rants. You don't have to agree nor disagree. Listening avoids arguments. 

6. Laugh.

    Crack jokes, make funny faces, talk in a funny voice! Laugh. It's a real mood booster. However, know when to crack jokes. I can assure you at the end of the day, your partners laughter is the most beautiful sound your ears have ever heard. 

7. Have Q&A sessions.

    Ever had those moments where you have nothing to talk about? Ask. Ask anything you desire to know. You have to be mentally prepared to accept your partners answers good or bad. If you don't know what to ask, Google! Don't be ashamed 

8. Equality.

    There is no such thing as dominance. Don't restrict your partner. Don't set stupid rules. For example: You can't talk to girls/guys. Please ah. The only thing you have to soil into your mindset is don't do something you wouldn't want your partner to do. Karma is a macha, he'll come around.

9. Your best friend of the opposite sex.

    This has got to go. Your partner is your best friend. If you're a girl, go to your babes for advice. If you're a guy, go to your bros for advice. There's always that one 'best friend' who wishes your relationship would end. Be on the look out!

10. Your single ways.

      Say bye bye to all of that. You have an unlimited person in your life, be thankful, be grateful, take a shot of Holy water. Treat him/her like you want to be treated.

For more questions, you can hit me up on ask.fm! 

Signing off, 

Thilamisu