I'm back on YouTube?!
Hey guys!
Guess who's back on YouTube?! The devil has returned! I just wanted to announce that I have finally rekindled my YouTube page. I remember coming to the US & was so determined to start my YouTube career & ended posting one corn dog eating video. The things I do sometimes, don't make sense.
This time I have definitely thought it through, taken points from YouTubers I love & hate & learned from them. Let's have a little flashback shall we?
I began YouTube as a 15 year old. I had just came back from the US back in 2010/2011 & was bursting with my new found confidence & enthusiasm & I wanted to document every single thing on video. Of course my 'personal vlogs' were never published. I had a dream to be a YouTube star & I so I went for it, I made YouTube videos of me singing just for the fun of it! In fact, here is my very first YouTube video.
I am truly amazed at my 15-year-old self because she was the first of her kind. She made videos for herself & not for anyone else. Of course, I would get little jitters of excitement whenever I got a like or a positive comment or even a subscription! I shared my videos with family & friends & I made friends from different parts of the world through YouTube, which was the best part of it all!
However, that confidence & enthusiasm died down over the years. I really do apologize if most of my blogs always relate to my depression but you live and learn. I practically disappeared from the YouTube world. I tried rekindling it so many times & I blame it on life & how it gets in the way. Frankly, it was procrastination & bad internet connection & just plain ol' frustration. My OCD was on fire because every cover I made, I wanted it to be PERFECT, in every sense of the word. I would literally record a cover 70+ times until I made no mistake. I would play the piano until I got light-headed. I always compared myself to other YouTubers and how they're better than me in one way or another. That really fucked up my self esteem.
I spent those years away from reading, singing, YouTube & all the things I loved doing because I genuinely believed I was not any good & never will be. Now, I'm glad I am back and here to stay. I just have one favor from you guys. Don't expect too much from me. I take in constructive criticism but I want to do YouTube at my own pace. Being ambitious is not a bad thing but Rome wasn't built in a night. I want to gradually grow in front of my audience. I don't want to jump straight into using an expensive camera with Hi-Fi sound system & audio & typical minimalist background with glowing lights.
What I want to show you guys are the different sides to me, the artistic, the funny, the argumentative, the factual, the bold side of me. I want to engaged with you guys, the audience in a personal level. & I am humble because I don't ask for anything in return. I do not wish to see my views or likes or subscriptions go up. I have my first hand experience with fame. It doesn't last long.
For instance, I am a avid Twitter person for sometime now. I used to tweet stuff that people could relate to & would get a spam load of favorites & retweets. Before that, I did Vines for my own amusement. I didn't even think about who would view my Vines but I did it because I found myself funny & at some point certain Vines of mine blew up. The rush was incredible! That temporary stardom made me feel confident, a cocky confident. Unfortunately, like everything else, it died down.
You see, fame is like bungee jumping, the rush you get is incomparable. The exhilaration & adrenaline rushing through your veins just drives you crazy & makes you say let's do that again! & that's when all hell breaks loose. Like bungee jumping, you can do it again & again & again just to feel your heart skip a few beats when you dive into the ground. Same goes to fame. You have to be ever so consistent to keep doing what you're doing. Be it videos or whatever it is you love doing. & strangely enough, it slowly becomes a chore. You eventually get sick of it & you don't feel the rush anymore. They don't call it 15 minutes of fame for nothing.
Wherever this road takes me, I pray for the experience of a lifetime. That and also my kids can say that their mama was a YouTuber once haha
Before I make my way to Dreamland, don't forget to watch my Wing Eyeliner Tutorial video! If it helped you, don't be shy to send in your wing eyeliner pictures!
thilamisu
Guess who's back on YouTube?! The devil has returned! I just wanted to announce that I have finally rekindled my YouTube page. I remember coming to the US & was so determined to start my YouTube career & ended posting one corn dog eating video. The things I do sometimes, don't make sense.
This time I have definitely thought it through, taken points from YouTubers I love & hate & learned from them. Let's have a little flashback shall we?
I began YouTube as a 15 year old. I had just came back from the US back in 2010/2011 & was bursting with my new found confidence & enthusiasm & I wanted to document every single thing on video. Of course my 'personal vlogs' were never published. I had a dream to be a YouTube star & I so I went for it, I made YouTube videos of me singing just for the fun of it! In fact, here is my very first YouTube video.
I am truly amazed at my 15-year-old self because she was the first of her kind. She made videos for herself & not for anyone else. Of course, I would get little jitters of excitement whenever I got a like or a positive comment or even a subscription! I shared my videos with family & friends & I made friends from different parts of the world through YouTube, which was the best part of it all!
However, that confidence & enthusiasm died down over the years. I really do apologize if most of my blogs always relate to my depression but you live and learn. I practically disappeared from the YouTube world. I tried rekindling it so many times & I blame it on life & how it gets in the way. Frankly, it was procrastination & bad internet connection & just plain ol' frustration. My OCD was on fire because every cover I made, I wanted it to be PERFECT, in every sense of the word. I would literally record a cover 70+ times until I made no mistake. I would play the piano until I got light-headed. I always compared myself to other YouTubers and how they're better than me in one way or another. That really fucked up my self esteem.
I spent those years away from reading, singing, YouTube & all the things I loved doing because I genuinely believed I was not any good & never will be. Now, I'm glad I am back and here to stay. I just have one favor from you guys. Don't expect too much from me. I take in constructive criticism but I want to do YouTube at my own pace. Being ambitious is not a bad thing but Rome wasn't built in a night. I want to gradually grow in front of my audience. I don't want to jump straight into using an expensive camera with Hi-Fi sound system & audio & typical minimalist background with glowing lights.
What I want to show you guys are the different sides to me, the artistic, the funny, the argumentative, the factual, the bold side of me. I want to engaged with you guys, the audience in a personal level. & I am humble because I don't ask for anything in return. I do not wish to see my views or likes or subscriptions go up. I have my first hand experience with fame. It doesn't last long.
For instance, I am a avid Twitter person for sometime now. I used to tweet stuff that people could relate to & would get a spam load of favorites & retweets. Before that, I did Vines for my own amusement. I didn't even think about who would view my Vines but I did it because I found myself funny & at some point certain Vines of mine blew up. The rush was incredible! That temporary stardom made me feel confident, a cocky confident. Unfortunately, like everything else, it died down.
You see, fame is like bungee jumping, the rush you get is incomparable. The exhilaration & adrenaline rushing through your veins just drives you crazy & makes you say let's do that again! & that's when all hell breaks loose. Like bungee jumping, you can do it again & again & again just to feel your heart skip a few beats when you dive into the ground. Same goes to fame. You have to be ever so consistent to keep doing what you're doing. Be it videos or whatever it is you love doing. & strangely enough, it slowly becomes a chore. You eventually get sick of it & you don't feel the rush anymore. They don't call it 15 minutes of fame for nothing.
Wherever this road takes me, I pray for the experience of a lifetime. That and also my kids can say that their mama was a YouTuber once haha
Before I make my way to Dreamland, don't forget to watch my Wing Eyeliner Tutorial video! If it helped you, don't be shy to send in your wing eyeliner pictures!
thilamisu
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